Does Edging Make You Last Longer?

When it comes to masturbation, self-pleasure or edging, this is something than can either hurt you in regards to sex, as it can make premature ejaculation and erection issues worse, or it can actually help you develop your skill in the bedroom and be able to contain much more pleasure without ejaculating, having much more endurance.

So, first of all let’s talk about the potential negative impacts. How can this harm you and I think it’s important to frame this in the context of a semen retention lifestyle, or semen retention practice. Ejaculating frequently for men is a major loss of body resources, nutrients and minerals, hormones and life force. So, regulating your ejaculation as a man is extremely important. I recommend that men go for a minimum of a week between ejaculations depending on your age and health and everything.

So, first of all let’s talk about how edging or masturbation would make your premature ejaculation worse, make sexual dysfunctions worse. It all comes down to how you engage in it. Understand that your masturbation habits become your sex habits. So if the way that you masturbate is you over stimulate yourself with porn, visual material, audio stories whatever, you go from a zero to a 10 on the arousal scale very quickly by just this pumping your penis very quickly, just the most stimulation in the shortest period of time. This is going train you to do that during sex. So you go from zero to 100 and you’re already right on the edge of ejaculation. It’s very difficult to control your arousal when there’s such a sharp peak in you climbing of arousal scale. Another thing is pelvic floor tension. If you’re squeezing your pelvic floor muscles either consciously or involuntarily during masturbation or during sex, then more and more tension starts to build up here and you start developing this hypertension state to where any stimulation of the penis triggers a contraction in the pelvic floor muscles. This will be very obvious once you start paying attention to this if this is happening for you.

In my experience, one of the main causes of premature ejaculation for men is this hypertension response in the pelvic floor - meaning that any penis stimulation leads to a contraction. This causes you to stimulate your sympathetic nervous system, makes your penis very sensitive and basically you will ejaculate very quickly. So if you’re edging where you’re  at a very high arousal rate, you’re clamping down your pelvic floor. There’s so much tension built in there but you’ll say “we’ll I didn’t ejaculate so everything’s okay”. You’re basically loading the gun we could say, you’re building all this pressure here now and without releasing that pressure. Ejaculating would normally release that pressure at the end of a sexual session but also, the best thing to do is prevent it building up in the first place... so you walk away from the session saying “okay, I didn’t ejaculate, I’m gaining amazing sexual control” but then you go to have sex with a partner and you explode immediately. Why? Because it’s like stretching a rubber band, you can think about this buildup of the tension in the pelvic floor. When you stretch and stretch that rubber band because it’s becoming so tense because you’re just like right on the edge of orgasm that whole time. So you go to have sex and it pops, it can’t hold anymore tension and you ejaculate.

This is what’s happening for a lot of men, loading up all this tension in your pelvic floor, you may have the illusion that you’re gaining self-control during self-stimulation because it’s easy to stop as soon as you would ejaculate but you may not have the same control in the bedroom because you often can’t just stop when you’re inside your partner and it pushes you over the edge easily. So this is an extremely important thing to become aware of. Are you engaging a lot of tension in your pelvic floor during masturbation sessions? And also in the conversation of this, pelvic floor tightness is erection issues. Not being able to have fully hard erections, not being able to hold erections for a long period of time. This can also be linked to poor masturbation habits. Again, engaging this pelvic floor tension constantly. What happens is for a lot of men, they can never actually relax their pelvic floor muscles because they spend too much time sitting down, too much stress in their mind and body, too much squeezing while masturbating, too much kegeling. It causes these muscles to become constantly tight and it takes all the energy for them to remain in that space. So they’re going to be constantly pulling blood from the body into them and that has very negative implications for your ability to hold an erection.

There’s a misconception that squeezing and kegeling is a good practice for powering up your erection to keep it hard during masturbation or sex. If you need to squeeze your pelvic floors to hold an erection, it means that you have a dysfunctional pelvic floor. The blood in your vessels are not feeding your penis properly. So squeezing is not a good remedy for this. The remedy for this is going to be rehabilitating your pelvic floor. Basically, that’s how edging can potentially be damaging for your longevity, we could say. And also, obviously if you’re masturbating every day and ejaculating you are depleting your body’s resources, lowering your hormone levels, testosterone drops, and in the long run you’re going to find yourself struggling to have decent quality erections and being able to last very long in bed because you just don’t have that sexual power. If you struggle from a hyper tense pelvic floor I strongly recommend checking out my pelvic floor rehab video on my YouTube channel for some ways release that tension.

So now I’ll talk about the potential benefits of edging or masturbation in regards to your sexual endurance. Using masturbation as a tool to train is the way it should be. So what you’ll want to do is not climb up the arousal scale in a very sharp way but learn to draw out how quickly you become aroused. How much the arousal in your body starts to intensify? So, stop fantasizing so much, don’t use any visual stimulation, no porn, anything like that. Don’t worry about if you don’t have a maximum erection in the first few second. It will take a bit slower for your arousal to climb or for your erection to become harder but you’re training yourself to have a slower peak in your arousal scale. You think of controlling your arousal as like surfing wave. When your wave of climbing arousal just goes straight up it’s very difficult to ride that wave. You’re going to get thrown right off and ejaculate very quickly. But when it’s a smooth, gradual build up, you can ride that wave and you can control yourself when you’re on it much better. That’s one of the main keys is drawing out your climb on the arousal scale so you don’t want to go straight for 100%. You’re on the edge of ejaculation. You want to wait till you get to that point for at least five minutes, maybe longer which requires deep breathing, relaxation of the mind and the body.

The other very important thing is to keep your pelvic floor relaxed, completely relaxed. As soon as you start, notice you start to squeeze your pelvic floor, stop stimulating, breathe deeply, use reverse kegel and then continue with the stimulation. And also notice that there’s a certain area of the penis that tends to trigger this contraction in the pelvic floor which is the frenulum. It’s a very sensitive area, once you start paying attention to this you’ll notice when that area is stimulated. I can track my pelvic floor, so, avoid stimulating that area as much. So if you’re using a fist grip let up a finger which is right on the frenulum. In general change the way that you’re stimulating your penis and just slow down a little bit and you don’t have to just fist pump as hard as you can, squeezing as hard as you can. Change the way that you stimulate yourself if that’s what you’re doing to accommodate this gradual climbing of the arousal scale. Training yourself to hold a relaxed pelvic floor during masturbation directly applies into sex. So, instead of a masturbation session you’re building up all this tension which has to be released eventually. Instead of that happening, you’re maintaining relaxation throughout your pelvic floor which leads to sexual endurance, higher quality erections as your pelvic floor muscles come back into balance and it actually allows you a much greater state of pleasure. Full body states of pleasure because this contraction, squeezing holds the energy in the genital region but when you are relaxed and breathing deeply. The energy can flow through your whole body. So basically, sexual kung fu is all about consciousness, bringing consciousness into everything that you’re doing. Masturbation is not inherently a wrong or harmful thing to do but you can certainly engage in a way that is harmful for you and most men unfortunately are doing it this way. So basically, learn to draw out how you climb the arousal scale, learn to work with your breath with relaxation to really gain awareness and control of what’s happening in your body and you’ll be a much more skilled sexual cultivator.